You Make Me Happy
by Corporal Katz
Summary: All they have is each other. Remus makes Sirius happy. Slash; SR; OotP


Title: 'You Make Me Happy'

Pairing: Sirius/Remus implied

Rating: G

Spoilers: All books

Disclaimer: I own them. Not. 

Note: Very special thanks to my beta Mesfab for taking up his Easter evening to beta this for me. 

The bedroom was dark when Sirius woke, and the left side of the bed felt unusually cold and empty. He ran a hand over his face and blinked the sleep from his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the darkness. Other than himself, the room was empty. 

Where was Remus?

Vivid nightmares plagued his sleep, and for many nights in a row Sirius stayed up late, wandering the house, terrified of what he'd find the next time he closed his eyes. Then, when Remus caught Sirius one night crouched in a dark corner of his bedroom, close to tears because of exhaustion, he offered to stay with him, much to Sirius's delight. He explained that his own room was far too big for one person, and often felt lonely when he couldn't sleep, himself. Sirius agreed and later had found that when Remus was near, lying close, next to him in the same bed, his nightmares were dulled enough to get him through the night.

Sirius stretched across the bed to the nightstand and reached for Remus' wristwatch, where it had been placed the previous night. 

Remus' watch was old and very well worn; the design, Sirius noted, was popular at least 20 years earlier. His face contorted in concentration, turning the piece over and over in his hands. It was vaguely familiar. He'd seen it before, he knew… a long, long time ago…

A spark of recognition ignited a nearly lost memory. 

It was a birthday gift given to Remus from himself and James, for Remus' seventeenth birthday!

__

Now he remembered! He and James had wandered all over Muggle London – and gotten themselves lost quite a number of times – looking for a wristwatch to replace the old one Remus unfortunately broke during a full moon, when he had forgotten to take it off. 

Sirius smiled sadly.

__

He had kept it, all this time, even after…? 

Sirius shook his head and glanced at the small, gold clock face in the dim yellow light emitting through the window from an outside street lamp. 3:34am. He sighed, and slid out of the bed and shivered. It was cold, even though it was quickly creeping into June once more. Grimmauld Place could never heat up properly.

He slid his bare feet into a pair of slippers and pulled on a jumper over his pyjama shirt. He shuffled from the bedroom into the hall, knowing full well where Remus could be found. Sirius crept silently past the row of house-elf heads, tiptoed down the rickety old stairs, and padded along a long hallway that led toward the kitchen.

He was right – Remus was in the kitchen. A small smile crossed his lips as he leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. He loved watching Remus, especially when he was reading. The way his ordinary brown eyes lit up when something interested him, how he frowned slightly as he concentrated on a particular subject that required all his thought. 

This seemingly plain, weary, scruffy looking man was his entire world. Always had been, since their days at Hogwarts. Nothing would ever change that.

Because Sirius Black loved Remus John Lupin.

__

One day, I might actually get the bollocks to tell you.

With an easy access to a pot of tea and a roaring fire in the hearth, his oldest and dearest friend was sitting at the large, ugly chipped wooden table, bent over a book of some sort. From his angle Sirius could only see Remus' hunched figure, pyjama-clad and all, with his chin resting on the palm of his left hand, and his right hand occasionally moving to lift the mug of tea to his lips, or to turn a page of his book. 

After a long while Sirius walked quietly into the kitchen and pulled up a chair close to where Remus sat, to see what his friend was reading. He closed his eyes briefly and breathed in lightly, taking in the combination of cheap soap and the subtle scent of sweat. He loved it. More than just the Padfoot part of him wanted to lick his friends' neck, to see if he tasted as good as he smelled. But suppressed the urge. 

"I was wondering where you got to. Good book?" Sirius asked.

Remus looked up, yawned, and smiled. 

"Couldn't sleep. " He marked the page with his finger and held up the book. 

"_'The Picture of Dorian Gray'_," Sirius read. "Ahh, Oscar Wilde. Had to read that in Fifth Year for Muggle Studies. Good book from what I remember of it. You took Muggle Studies, too, didn't you?"

Remus shook his head. "No – only you, James, and… and Peter. Didn't need it. Took Ancient Runes instead. " 

Like most of Remus' things, the book was old and tatty. The pages were yellowed and well read, falling apart at the spine. But his friend didn't seem to mind, as he was most likely used to it by now. He was enjoying the book, and talked a little about other stories he had read over the years, carefully avoiding any topics that concerned the Order or Sirius' dreadful memories, knowing that Sirius just wanted to forget them for the time being. 

There was plenty of time to talk about unpleasant things like that. Besides, the book was a far more interesting and happier subject to discuss. 

And that was all that mattered, because Remus looked happy, and in turn, this made Sirius just as happy.

__

Good, Moony deserves all the happiness he can get. It's about damn time, too. I promise, Moony, when all this is over, when Voldemort is gone for good, and I'm free, _things will be different. You'll never have to worry again. I'll buy you all the books you want – whatever you desire. We'll get a house, in the country somewhere; I know how much you love the fields and fresh air. And we can share it – like how we used share that flat in Sussex - and Harry, also, if he's not too old by then – can't believe he's almost sixteen… _

I'll take care of you, Remus. You'll never be alone again. 

Sirius had the sudden, desperate urge to make contact – human contact – the kind that had been denied to him for more than twelve years. Not caring how it might have looked if someone suddenly intruded, he slowly draped a long, thin arm around Remus' bony shoulders and pulled him close. He waited tensely, for Remus to shove him away in surprise, alarm or... disgust. But the other man did no such thing. Instead, he slowly lifted a hand and patted the one resting on his right shoulder in comfort. Sirius sighed inwardly with happiness and relief. Remus' hand was wonderfully warm and comforting against his own. 

"Sirius," Remus said gently, "are you all right?"

Sirius nodded. 

"Can we just sit like this, for a little moment. Please?"

"Of course."

And so, they both sat in silence, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of each other, as friends, well more than friends, in the kitchen of Sirius' hated childhood home. The flames from the crackling fire brought a sense of déjà vu. If he closed his eyes and cleared his mind enough, Sirius could almost imagine he was back at Hogwarts in the Gryffindor Common Room - albeit holding his male friend - sitting in front of the old fireplace. 

"Remus?" he spoke up, after long minutes of comfortable silence, and shifted a little in his chair, without breaking the close contact.

"Yes, Sirius?"

"Remus… I just wanted… wanted you to know… that… that you make me happy," he whispered.

Remus sighed gently and draped his other arm around Sirius. 

"You make me happy, too. Extraordinarily happy..."

__

fin


End file.
